PORK (get in my) BELLY!

For months I have been wanting to try pork belly.  Seems like it's all the talk on the Food Network, but every store I went to had the same claim, "Oh, yeah.  Pork belly.  We get that sometimes, but we don't have any now."  I almost gave up.

But then COSTCO!

Suddenly Costco began stocking slabs of pork belly roughly the size of a pillowcase.  Of course, I bought three.

At the same time, I discovered Foodspin, with a collection of (sort of) recipes that are not only delectable, but some of the funniest food reads ever.  Some of my favorites include:

• How to Make Hollandaise Sauce and Defy the Brunch-Industrial Complex
• How to Make Mashed Cauliflower, Because It @od#amn Tastes Great
• How to Make Broccoli, On Purpose, and Enjoy It, Which Is Possible

and just what I needed to launch my Costco pork belly adventure:

• How to Cook Pork Belly, Which Thoroughly Kicks Bacon's Ass

Seriously, if you flip over there right now and read it, I won't be offended.  I'll be laughing right along with you in spirit.  But if you'd rather cut straight to the nitty-gritty, (or maybe you just don't care for a lot of swears,) you can save the hilarity for another time, and that's cool, too.  In that case, read on and I will show you how I cooked pork belly as per the potty-mouthed culinary genius(es) responsible for Foodspin:

1.  Take a thawed slab of pork belly, lay it fat-side-up on a cutting board, and dry it with a paper towel.  Then, score the slab diagonally with a sharp knife, and rub a drizzle of olive oil into the meat on both sides.

2.  Make a dry rub using a teaspoon each of garlic powder, cumin, paprika, cayenne pepper and salt, and a tablespoon of brown sugar.  Mix this all up, and rub it all over both sides of your belly.  (You know I mean the pork belly, right?)  Now bag it up, and park it in the fridge for about an hour.

3.  Heat your oven to 500 degrees Farenheit.  Place your pork belly fat-side-up on a rack in a roasting pan, and pop it into that hot, hot oven for 10 or 15 minutes until it gets brown and the fat starts to sizzle and bubble.  (You're going to want to watch this.  Partly because you don't want to let it burn.  Partly because it will prove the existence of a benevolent God.)

4.  Then turn the oven down to 325 degrees Farenheit, and walk away for 90 minutes.

5.  After the 90 minutes is up, pour a bottle of beer into the roasting pan and let it cook another hour.

6.  When that hour is up, remove your pork belly from the oven, and let it cool on a cutting board for about 15 minutes.

7.  Now cut it up into hunks or shred it or whatever, but get that belly into your belly.

8.  Regain consciousness and return to Costco to buy nine more pork bellies!  Hey, they freeze just fine...

Pork Belly Created by Chris Thompson of foodspin.deadspin.com and provided by grannyfab.blogspot.com
Ingredients:	Instructions:
Pork belly ** A drizzle of olive oil 1 teaspoon cumin 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon paprika 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1 bottle of beer ** Depending on the size of the slab you buy, you may want to slice it into smaller portions and freeze some.  This recipe was tested on a slab 10-12 inches long.	1.    Dry the thawed pork belly with a paper towel and place it fat-side-up on a cutting board. 2.    Score the meat diagonally and rub with a drizzle of olive oil. 3.    Combine the spices and sugar into a dry mixture and rub on all sides of the meat.  Place in a plastic bag and chill for at least one hour. 4.    Heat your oven to 500F. 5.    Place the pork belly on a rack in a roasting pan and place in the oven for 10-15 minutes until brown and bubbly. 6.    Reduce heat to 425F and cook 90 minutes. 7.    Pour 1 bottle of beer into the roasting pan and cook 1 additional hour.